Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ziggys Cynical Summary of Heimskringla

And then Asshole King # 512 went pillaging and burning common folks homes. Yea, how glorious.

Then Asshole King #513 went pillaging and burning common folks homes. Yea, how glorious.

Then Asshole King #514 went pillaging and burning common folks homes. Yea, how glorious.

Oh, wow, lets write a poem about how marvelous the sword play was when these brute bullies were out there burning down peoples homes. Wow, how brave and glorious they were.

Wow, what a fabulous, honorable ancestry.

Then Asshole King # 515 went pillaging and burning common folks homes. Yea, how glorious.

When you read a book, and are looking back to the glory days of how interesting and edifying the Old Testament was, you know it is really bad, boring writing.

In fact, Heimskringla is only good if you use it in reverse : do the opposite of everything these kings do, and you should be fine, because the characters in these sagas lie, cheat, betray their best friends, burn down people while they are at sacred sumbles (about 50 times or more throughout the sagas), trample on the odal rights of bonders, break alliances and oaths, and burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn common folks villages.

Idiotic.


Yes, feel free to start a dialogue with me about this. I realize there are a few precious gems in Heimskringla, but overall, it is a dung heap. Feel free to educate me otherwise. Try! It might be a fun exercise. Try showing me how all this pillaging and burning is really glorious. I think its the actions of a bunch of barbaric assholes.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Swain Wodening said...

You are correct, there are not many admirable characters in the Icelandic sagas or the history of the kings. That is why I like Beowulf so much. It is quite a contrast in that the lead character is a true hero. All he kills are monsters.

4:06 PM  
Blogger SiegfriedGoodfellow said...

I'm with you! I too like Beowulf a lot for those very reasons.

6:03 AM  

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